About Me

British ex-pat trying her hand at blogging while enjoying the Middle-Eastern sun

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

- Marriage License

'There may be trouble ahead.....'

Where ever in the world you are, in order to get married you are required to get a Marriage License.  Oh yes, my smooth sailing has hit some very large brick walls, leaving us stuck between a rock and a hard place - excellent!   Luckily for my readers who might be embarking the same, or similar journey, I am about to tell you what problems we encountered, what we did and how long it took.

 Marriage License

The start....

Upon a conversation with our Priest, he advised the marriage certificate would possibly take one month AFTER the wedding to be created and back in our hands, which we might have to sign for upon collection - not ideal.  Additionally, we would need to be in Trinidad for at least 3-4 weeks to process the banns, notice of marriage and then get married.  Being told this in March, we are advised that it's much better to  come to Trinidad already married, via a Civil ceremony because i) the catholic church does not recognise a non-catholic wedding, and ii) when we do have our religious ceremony, having a marriage paperwork already speeds up the catholic marriage certificate meaning we could take it when we leave Trinidad 5 days after the ceremony. 

Next steps.....

Looking at the positive side to any situation, I looked at the possibility getting married in various places and have the following comments: 

London Marriage License:


You need to be in the UK for at least 7 working days (meaning they do not count Sat & Sunday!), then you need to place notice of your marriage which needs to be up for 21 days, again, excluding the weekends.  Once all of that is done, you can set a date.  All in all, the UK required you to be in the country for over one month. 

(Over one month, plus an additional 3 weeks in Trinidad, is more holiday allowance than we have and our employers would laugh if we asked for this time off work!!).....  UK = No.


Qatar Marriage License:


Since we are both in Qatar, how about we find a place here?   I thought, being a Muslim country, this might be more challenging, so I commence my investigation.  The Catholic Church here was able to wed us, the local court could not as it's under muslim law, but our problem is that we need to have a non-religious wedding.  So I contacted the British Embassy, Doha.  They said they stopped marrying couples over three years ago and would need to investigate with the London office whether or not they could do it again.  A few hours later I received a phone call saying YES!  - Perfect... or so I thought!

1) For non-residents (those without a Resident Permit), you must be in the Country for 21 days before you can apply for a Civil Ceremony and they DO include the weekends - I'd been in the country almost one month and J lives here - check!

2) We needed to send over our ID's and other personal documents to verify we were who we were - check!

3)  As this marriage is between one British National and one non-national, we needed to get a letter from the Embassy of the non-national, in this case Trinidad, to confirm that under the Law in which the marriage would take place,  will be recognised as a legal marriage in Trinidad.  Simple huh?  I was even provided the text required on the letter - brilliant. 

So I called Trinidad & Tobago office in London and explained what was required, I was told to send the text over and they would send it on to the Capital of Trinidad to create the letter.  3 days later we received the letter...... with completely different text.  I sent it over to the UK Embassy hoping they would say OK, 4 days later we were told no, this was not acceptable and they needed that specific wording.  I called up the T&T office and they said they were not able to, as it was specific to me and J, and they could get in trouble if they wrote what we asked for.  I spoke to the UK Embassy and asked that they just accept the letter.  They said no, and unless we got we couldn't progress.

3 weeks passed and this letter situation was still not resolved.  Being from the Commonwealth, you would think both Embassies had a process in place for such a situation - of course not!  That would require common sense.  Loosing my patience, I ask that the UK Embassy call the T&T Embassy to resolve this matter, why should our marriage suffer because both embassies are incapable of composing a letter that one another will accept?........ 1 day later, we receive the letter with the wording.  3 weeks wasted, but we have the letter.  So now we can post our banns?

4)  The Doha Embassy sent the documents to London and they said No.  The next step was to get a CNI - Certificate of Non-Impediment for J, to prove that he is not married under any religion: Muslim, Christian  Hindu or Catholic.  Once we receive his CNI, we can post our banns and get married 2 weeks later - 3 weeks before we are due to leave Qatar.

Back to T&T Embassy we go...... 'Yes, we can do this for J, it costs £12 and will take 3 months'........ 'why 3 months???'......'oh because someone needs to physically go through all of the books by hand and check that he is not already married'.  This means it will bring us very close to the date we leave Qatar.  We asked a family member who reside in Trinidad, if they could go to the Embassy in Trinidad and ask the same question.  One week later we are told it will take up to 6-weeks, better, but not ideal.  We commenced the process.  (If London were more organised, we could have gotten this ball rolling while we got the other letter!!!! grrr grrr).

6 weeks later, we receive the CNI.  I rushed to give it to the UK embassy knowing that our time frame to get married was short.  I was told to come in to the Embassy and pay for our banns.  I paid for our banns and was then told - oh, we've already posted your banns so now you have signed this paperwork, we will send it to London who will say yes or no to your marriage - Hallelujah, finally a bit of good news!!!!

4 days later, I receive good news, our marriage has been approved............ and there was bad news.  The banns had been up since Feb and now 2 months later, it had expired so they had to post them again.  Sure, after a 3 month wait so far, whats another 2 weeks, right? ....'So this will be posted for 21 days and then we can marry you'...... yup, another brick wall, 14 days now turns into 21 days -  they were informed incorrectly.  I said we are leaving the country June 20th, it is realistic that we will get married before?  No.

So, feeling incredibly low after all the work we'd put into this, to find out that that in the end, it all came to nothing..... apart from useful information for my readers.

In short:

A British Citizen getting married to a Trinidadian requires:

x1 Letter acknowledging the law you will be wed under is recognised by T&T Laws (this took us 3 weeks, but get your embassy to talk to the T&T Embassy as it only took 1 day!) at the same time order the CNI.

x1 CNI (Certificate of non-impediment) T&T London will tell you 3 months, but if you have a person in Trinidad, by them going to the office in Trinidad, reduced this time to 6 weeks.  MAKE SURE THEY STAMP YOUR LETTER otherwise it is worth nothing.

Then you will have a smooth transition to getting married in a UK Embassy wherever you are in the world!  


What do we do now?

We went back to our Priest and advised that despite our best efforts, we cannot get married before we arrive.  We were advised, 'oh yes, I have been told there is a quicker marriage license where you have to be in Trinidad for 3 days and on the 4th day, you go to the office and buy your license'.  All you need is your ID, and show your return tickets out of the country.

After all of the above, telling me this brings music to my ears.

Marriage License = check!  Well, let's not be too hasty now.... only arriving in Trinidad will answer whether this works or not!! 


Sorry for the length of this post, but I really wanted you to understand what is required so you don't end up putting all this work in for absolutely nothing.

Time for bed!


International Bride.... XOXO  

- Wedding Venues in Trinidad

Trinidad:  Church & Reception Venue


Wedding venues are exciting things to look for.  You usually require a venue to get married; a church venue for example, and a reception venue; a place to hold the party!! (The part that most people look forward to).  Here are the wedding venues in Trinidad that we have chosen:


Ceremony Venue: The Church



Trinidad's rainy season is June through to December, our date is during the second week of July(....ah.....awesome, right?).

Thinking of a beach wedding initially, the best place for a beach wedding is on Trinidad's sister island, Tobago.  However, as J is from Trinidad we would like to keep it in Trinidad.  So an OK beach + the chance of tropical downpour while stood on a beach = no.thank.you.

As we are both Catholics, we are able to use one of Trinidad's many Catholic Churches.  We have chosen to go with Our Lady of Fatima RC Church, which romantically is the same place J's parents got married.  And if you think that is lovely, the Father who wed his parents will also be marrying us too ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 


Church = Check! Someone to Marry us = Check!

Wedding Venue in Trinidad


Reception & Accommodation: Norma's B&B



Our wedding guests will be flying in from around the world: The United Kingdom,  the Middle-East, the USA, and the rest will be people lucky enough to already be in Trinidad!  

With this in mind, we wanted a reception venue where our guests can party and then walk to their bed as and when they are ready.  Through internet searches and asking our family we found Norma's B&B.  

Clean, tidy and experts in holding weddings and wedding receptions, this is the place to be!

Each room has the essentials:  Air con, internet, mini fridge, any size bed you need and close to an outdoor pool.  The B&B has enough rooms to accommodate our large group, which is lovely as both families will be able to hang out together, and not be in different hotels with miles in between.  Another important factor for us, was the proximity to the Church and Norma's is conveniently located close by.

Norma has been running her B&B for over 20 years and has held many wedding ceremonies and receptions.  Her garden is lush with green and colourful flowers, with room to hold around 200 guests, a bar and DJ area.  Norma has been in this business for a long time and luckily for us, has a long list of people she recommends using for the wedding.  Hairdressers, make-up artists, caterers, florists, tent suppliers... the list goes on!  Approachable, excellent customer service and valuable wedding experience - sounds like we have hit a little jackpot :)

If you would like to consider Norma's B&B, her website is:



After the wedding I will write a full review on Norma's, something which will be useful for people considering staying there as a B&B, or using the venue for dual purpose - just like us!

Wedding Venues in Trinidad = Check!

I must say, this is going very smoothly indeed.....  :)


Love,

International Bride

xoxo


Friday, 24 May 2013

- The Engagement Ring

''Diamonds are a girl's best friend''

It's five months since we got engaged and I still don't know what engagement ring I would like - my problem is simply this: there are too many choices!  

One thing I do know is I would like as many sparkles as possible!  With the use of Pinterest, I have put together some ideas below:

Having worked close to Lucy Campbell's diamond shop in Mayfair,  I like the look of her designs below: 




Knowing that these will be in the top end price range, I took a look online and these ones seemed to catch my eyes too: 


As you can see, I rather like sparkles!!  When I was asked what diamond size i'd like, naturally I said the biggest we can afford!  But surprisingly big doesn't always look that nice .... or genuine:

Here is a good illustration of carat sizes below, showing from 1-3 carats...


Sure, the last one will look blindingly beautiful in the light, but it's rather garish don't you think?  And having seen one's this big, weighing down their owners arm, walking around Mayfair, they didn't always look real either, more like costume jewellery.

I will keep adding to my board on Pinterest, take a look: 


As this ring will be with me until I step into Heaven (& purchase another one), or possibly handed down to my children, I want to make sure I get the right ring, and I think it's going to take some time to decide. 

So, for now it's back to the wedding planning.......


Love,

International Bride

xoxo


Let me know your thoughts in the comment box below:  What do you want? Do you have a favorite designer/metal/shape?  And if you already have one, what did you choose?

Thursday, 23 May 2013

- The Bridemaid's dresses

You always hear horror stories about bridemaid's dresses, and often, the bride is referred to as a 'Bridezilla', because the bride is SO in the zone, that she puts her maid's in hideous outfits..... not me!





Luckily, I enjoyed the outfit I wore as a bridesmaid - although I was pretty young  at 6 years old and didn't have much of a choice! - so I was very keen to make sure my girls like their outfits and had a part in choosing them.  

I have four of these beauties: My sister, C as Maid of Honour; G, who you met at the beginning of this journey; S, who is another dear friend of mine and G's sister;  and R, who is J's younger sister, who also lives in Qatar.  

The three UK-Based bridesmaid's and I, met up in Kingston-Upon-Thames, a convenient location for our various living coordinates, and aimed to spend the day going around the shops looking for ideas and if possible, buy the dresses! 

Looking around during the January sales is a wonderful advantage to ensuring this wedding will not cost the earth!! We started in Zara, H&M, Bentalls and didn't see anything which we were looking for: something acceptable in church and lilac.  Deciding that the colour was making this task too time consuming, we just stuck with one need: something acceptable to wear in church.  

With this in mind we stepped into French Connection... BINGO.  G walked over to the sale rack and found satin, champagne coloured, skater dresses.  The girls picked their sizes and tried them on.  As they stepped out, a lady walked into the changing room to try something on and said ''Oh, French Connection do bridesmaid dresses?''..... SOLD.  They fit well and looked the part, the next part was to look at the price tag..... 

£100 reduced to £23 - whoo hoo!  I'll take four please :)


Pretty pleased with ourselves, we trotted over to John Lewis to look at shoes.  S, was delighted to spot some purple, diamante heels by Nine West named Coldfeet, which we all liked - yes, my bridal shoes will be purple!  The cost?.....


£89 reduced to £35, this day was going very well indeed!!


Final stop,  the glitz and glamour, the attentions to detail, the hair decor and body candy: accessories!  Naturally, we skipped over to Monsoon's Accessorize to view what was on offer. As the overall look for this wedding will be largely traditional and minimal bling in sight, we spotted silver and pearl hair slides which would sit nicely in the hair while the bridesmaids don messy side buns!  Sadly, the price was not nice, but these kind of things can be sourced for cheaper elsewhere, but at least we all had an idea of what we wanted.

 The Hairclips


S with the complete look!
We will add a purple sash to the waist of the dress later on.


3 hours later we took our separate paths home, while skipping along carrying the day's deals.

Cost so far:  £58 per bridesmaid  

Love,

International Bride

xoxo


- The Dress!



4-week deadline...

... to find the dress!


After a week or so telling our friends and family the good news, when I got back to London I bought a bridal magazine to commence the dress hunt.   I kept reading the same thing in the magazine: ''Your dress will take 4-6 months to make'' .....ermmmmm, what?!  I don't have this amount of time!  I have 4 weeks left in the UK and I'm going to the Middle-East, where my (Western)  style of dress will not be easily found, what if I never find one there? what if I can't afford it? Who will fit my dress? What if, what if, what if - yup, panic set in.

Working in Mayfair meant I saw lots of lovely designer dresses, reminding me daily that this is something I simply cannot ignore!  My dear friend N, who also works in Mayfair suggested a post-work catch up.  I told her my amazing news and then talked, and talked, and talked about my new stress: sourcing a wedding dress.  After, what seemed like a long time to be talking someone's head off, N nipped to the loo - probably desperate to run away from my verbal diarrhoea ha-ha, and she came back, sat down and just like an angel sent from the wedding dress gods said: 

''So!  When do you want to meet my mum?'' .... 

I said ''huh?''

''To help find you a wedding dress, she owns a wedding dress shop remember?!!!''

Of-course!!! How on earth could I forget? So consumed with worry, I forgot N's mummy has been in the wedding industry for years! My response was ''tomorrow!'' And with that we set up a date and time to go wedding dress shopping!! 

A few days later (yes, that quickly) I took my mum, sister to N's family wedding dress boutique in Edgware, where we met with N and her mum, Chris.

Chris asked: So, what dress do you want? ..... 16 dresses and 4.5 hours later , I found my perfect wedding dress.  It was not the same colour, style or design that I thought I wanted and that is where Chris's excellent skill lies.  You tell her what you want, she picks it out from the rack (of 100's of dresses) and you try it on.  Chris will then kindly offer her opinion and if you did pick the correct style for your body, colour for your skin tone and hair colour then you are a genius, but 99% of the time, unknowingly to us, we don't pick the right dress, but luckily for me, I had Chris's expertise on hand and I trust her 110% .

Along with a dress, we tried on different veils, again we found the perfect one to go with the dress.

Once dressed and ready to go, Chris turned around and said to me I’m not letting you buy this now, go home and think about it and phone me in a couple of days.... 12-hours later I woke up and text Chris and N, ''keep the dress, I still love it!''.  

I then went back with my dear friend V to collect the dress.  V sadly cannot come to my wedding, so I tried on the dress again and she kindly took photos of me.  

We left the shop and headed home with one, brand new Kate Sherford dress in tow.

Love,
International Bride 

xoxo

Notes:

Not only because Chris is the mother to a dear friend of mine, but also because of her experience and skills,  that I recommend you contact her.  Chris has three shops, the addresses you will find on her website below.  Chris sells beautiful dresses which you can buy and take away the same day - if you're allowed ! If you want a special dress, for less than £1,000- no that isn't a typo - and seek non-pushy, expert advice then visit Chris.  




- Once upon a time...


''Will You Marry Me? ...."


''.....Yes!''


21st December 2012, I was a very lucky girl because it was on this date that my wonderful boyfriend became by fiancĂ©e!   And here is my proposal ring....... the engagement ring is yet to be decided! 




Some people say that having a long-distance relationship never works, but I am about to prove you wrong, and here’s why.....

Taking a few steps back and to set the scene:  

I first met this wonderful human being around three to four years ago, and at the first sight of J,  I was instantly attracted to him - he had it all: he spoke well, had an amazing smile, an addictive sense of humor and of course, being from Trinidad, he was very charming indeed.  

We were both friends with the same couple, but had only now met one another; the girl, V, I worked with, and the boy, N, was J's friend from school. We spoke a little to one another - I was trying to find the right things to say (while playing it cool... ha-ha) but at the same time, I was genuinely lost for words.  I really liked him and so I decided to just enjoy my time in his company and hear what he had to say.

I didn't see again J for a long while, well over a year, not until Notting Hill Carnival.  The same couple we mutually knew, V&N, were going to Chocolate Mas and I joined them for my second year running, bringing along a dear friend of mine, G.  Now, to explain what Chocolate Mas is!!  As an extreme chocoholic, an event like this is something you simply cannot turn down.  You are part of a band (group) who walk the carnival in between two trucks: the one at the front supplies the music and the one at the back holds the alcohol and food.  The point of this group is that you walk the carnival while smearing, throwing, rubbing chocolate into your fellow band mates - very messy indeed.   Combine that with alcohol, the sun, music = an amazing time......


Giggling while G takes a pic of me next to J - subtle, eh?
PS: Yes, that is chocolate!! Yum ;)


The girls!  


The end result - G is officially a Chocolate Mas member :)


... I digress.

Anyway, it is here that we re-met and straight away I smiled and told my friend, G, OMG I met this guy a while ago and I really, really like him.  She laughed and decided to spend the rest of the time, threatening to push me into him, getting us close together and so forth - the usual childish things you do... at the age of 28!

While G and V screamed and ran away from me, with my hands cupped together and filled with melting chocolate, along came J - topless and smiling - so naturally I smeared chocolate all-over-him, trying to hide my HUGE grin while doing so! 

We soon got in touch with one another and as they say, the rest is history!  J lived in Qatar (close, right?) while I lived in the grey climbs of London.  We Skyped one another at least 3 times a day, talking for a min of 6 hours about anything and everything.  He flew out to London every two weeks and I then flew to Qatar, and it was on my second trip when he popped the question.  After little deliberation, we decided to get married in Trinidad, July 2013 - 7 months away.

When I returned to London, I quit my job and spent a month preparing for my move to the magical Middle-East......... oh and starting to plan our wedding!


Love,

International Bride

xoxo











- Home


Welcome to my little blog about a large wedding!


This is a true story about an English Girl and Trinidadian Boy, falling in love and getting married.

Relocating from London to Qatar, and getting married in Trinidad, I share our experiences, challenges and any tips I come across, to you all.

So, here's the essentials: 
Planning time frame: 7 months
Cost: At a minimal !!
Location: Trinidad, West Indies

Type:  Church Wedding
Colour theme: Purple, Lilac & White
Number of Guests: 120- 150


Happy reading and thank you for taking a look!

Love, 

International Bride

xoxo